THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING GAY

J. Neil C. Garcia’s The Conversion speaks so much about the harsh reality that gay men and women live today. It has been drummed into me my whole life that men only love women and vice versa; that men who love men are dangerous and in need of God’s assistance. My reaction then would be, “Yes. Men who love men need our prayers.” Now, I say, “There is nothing wrong with a man loving a man or a woman, a woman.” I realized how much society and religion have twisted the minds of the people to the point that love and marriage was considered a gift only to the right couple and gender was the indicator of a person’s status. As human beings, capable of thinking, we should accept the changes that come to some people. These changes are not always good, but the bad ones tend to put the good ones into place.

            A person’s gender is just his sexual orientation coming to being. It does not change his sex. However, I look beyond a person’s gender, regardless of that person’s attitude. That’s what people should be taught nowadays, in my opinion; that being a homosexual or a heterosexual does not really define a person. There are a lot of successful men and women today who do not hide behind masks. Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana, the design duo behind D&G, were romantic partners from their first women’s wear collection. Though they ended their romantic relationship in 2005, they continued their business relationship, nonetheless. Another influential person is Ricky Martin, who has twin boys. When he came out in March 2010, the world didn’t literally stone him. Martin said, “These years in silence and reflection made me stronger and reminded me that acceptance has to come from within and that this kind of truth gives me the power to conquer emotions I didn't even know existed. I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man."

            I admire those homosexuals who do not hinder themselves from society’s label of them. What about the ones who do hinder themselves? Who hide behind the masks not just to protect themselves but their families, as well? These souls are to be admired, too. The last line of the piece, We die to rise to a better life, means more than it actually means. I understand it now. Some people sacrifice for the betterment of everything. Even if it means that their true selves will get sacrificed. We die to rise to a better life. Yet, what is a better life? How can one live life if one is hiding from it? I am not gay or, at least, I haven’t crossed that bridge yet. But I do know that there is nothing wrong with being gay.

Conversations

You can really know a lot about a person from the way he or she converses with others.

Each person has a unique voice. The pitch, the tone, the shape of the mouth when conversing. I believe that emotion is always there when a person speaks. The way a person speaks clearly defines what the person feels. Though there are times when doubts will set in. What if he or she is faking it? what if he or she is trained or is so good at masking his or her emotions? You can never tell.

10 HAPPY MEMORIES

You are your memories, said our professor, Miss Edna Lee during our class on January 28, 2013. My memories are like clouds; they drift through my mind. There are times when I remember when I don’t want to remember and times when I want to remember but cannot find the memory. Sometimes I question my memories, especially the ones from when I was a child. I do not know if the memory I see is true or a product of my overactive imagination. Nevertheless, I must list ten of my happiest memories. They are not in order and I would prefer it that way since each memory holds its own kind of happiness.

1.    “Dreams,” he said, “is very mysterious things. They is floating around in the air like little wispy-misty bubbles. And all the time they is searching for sleeping people.”

-       Roald Dahl, The BFG

I had this dream where I only saw the face of a very beautiful woman. I can’t remember the exact features of the woman’s face but I do know she had black hair and brown eyes. I was, and still am, hoping it was an image of me, only older.

2.    All said I was wicked, and perhaps I might be so.

-       Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre

One of the many things about relatives is that they never forget to remind you of the way you were when you were a restless, loud, lihokan, samukan, and sapoton little girl every reunion.

3.    I wondered if there was anything of my parents in me, or if who I was was entirely cobbled from books and television and teachers at school.

-       Maggie Stiefvater, Forever

I realized how I was so like my father and in so many ways. People always said I was a carbon copy of my mother but I think I really am a carbon copy of both my parents: outside and inside.

4.    My life began when happy smiled

Sweet like candy to a child.

Stay here and love me just a while.

Let sadness see what happy does

Let happy be where sadness was.

-       Michael Jackson, Happy

My father was playing some songs with the guitar my mother gave to him as an anniversary present. I went over to his side and together we sang the songs we knew the pitch to and one of them was My Heart Will Go On.

5.    “They’re teenagers. They do the opposite of what you say.”

-       Lauren Oliver, Before I Fall

I took the Chief Girl Scout Medal Scheme Project during my third year in High School and against my better judgement. It was hard work but it all paid off when I got my medal, when I shook hands with Lea Salongga, when my father proudly posed with me in front of a dozen unknown cameras, and especially when one of my beneficiaries said, “Pagdako nako pareha ko ni ate! Bata pa pero titser na!” (JV, 8 years old, 2011)

6.    Fairy tales had been her first experience of the magical universe that she was now so eager to enter, and more than once she had wondered why people ended up distancing themselves from that world, knowing the immense joy that childhood had brought to their lives.

-       Paulo Coelho, Brida

My father, sister, and I watched Disney’s Beauty and The Beast one Sunday afternoon. We sang together with the characters and I (and this happens every time we watch this!) still got teary-eyed when the Beast let Belle go.

7.    “One of my hardest jobs as a father, one of my greatest duties, was to realize that my own dreams, my own goals and wishes, are secondary to my children’s.”

-       Rick Riordan, The Red Pyramid

My father didn’t want me to go to school here in Cebu. He told me reasons like, “Wala nay mubantay nako, nak.” And “Mingawon si Papa nimo, day.” And even, “Diri lang ka, Kalay. Mas-safe ka diri and dili na ko sige ug worry nimo pag naa ka dadto.” I could see his concern and I was really tempted to just stay in Davao for college. However, I knew that I wouldn’t grow there. I want to be independent and going out of my comfort zone was the first step. In the end, my father agreed to me going to UP Cebu. I think he finally saw that I wasn’t a little girl anymore; no matter my height and no matter how much I wanted to remain one.

8.    “You’re too young to settle. Look into your heart – and go after what you really want.”

-       Sophie Kinsella, Shopaholic Takes Manhattan

When I told my father I wanted to be a doctor, I also asked him if I could pursue it and maybe not here in the Philippines. I thought he would say that it would be financially impossible, but he said, “Okay na siya, day. Dili jud mag-matter kung mingawon ko nimo or mingawon ka nako. Kayanon lang na ni Papa, apil ang bayronon. It’s my job man. That’s your dream. Magtarong lang jud ka sa imong studies.”

9.    “My dear young cousin, if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the eons, it’s that you can’t give up on your family, no matter how tempting they make it.”

-       Rick Riordan, Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Sea of Monsters

My brother and little sister and I found out that it would be futile to bring my father on a movie day in the cinemas. The last time all four of us watched a movie, our father fell asleep before the opening credits were done (and he was snoring, too!).

10. I thank you for the kindness and the times when you got tough.

And, Papa, I don’t think I said I love you near enough.

-       Dan Fogelberg, Leader of the Band

This memory I am not sure if it is one or if it is a dream. My mom used to sing Pasko na, Sinta ko to my little sister and me to get us to sleep when our dad was away traveling. My mother had the most beautiful voice and the most expressive eyes. But I can’t really see her face without the help of a picture and now I sing to myself that Christmas song whenever I need to get myself to sleep.

Though these memories all hold a lesson for me, I believe that it is the painful memories which really give a person the slap she needs. Painful memories are harsh but these memories have the power to change a person; much more than happy memories do. So cherish each memory, happy or painful.

The pictures do not belong to me. I got them from Google, but I did edit them to make this collage. Beauty isn't only found in objects and in other people. I learned that beauty was in me, too. More importantly, I learned that beauty, real beauty, is beneath the skin. And that positive quotes can really brighten up one's day, no matter how gloomy. :)